Thursday, July 14, 2011

Widgets

While I wait....

I am loving this cooler monsoon weather I tell ya! A few weeks ago we got up to the low nineties here in Flagstaff, and I was very thankful to have our swamp cooler hooked up during those hot days. Now, I'm glad to see the rain, and the cooler temps. Its a nice 67 degrees right now at 2:30 in the afternoon, meanwhile the midwest is seeing a heat wave.

What is up with us? Well, we still once again are tapping our fingers waiting...playing the waiting game on a lot of things, not just baby. Waiting for things to happen with my husband's work, waiting to go on our end of the summer vacation etc, Sea World, San Diego Zoo, Lego Land, the Beach, here we come!! Totally excited about the trip. Its our last big vacation before the baby comes.

Actually now with this pregnancy, I've just gotten to the stage where you can enjoy being pregnant a little. I'm not too big just yet, morning sickness is dying down and if its like last time, indigestion will hit in about 3 weeks keeping me up at all hours of the night and I'll start to have to sleep sitting up again. I got a body pillow a couple weeks ago and its helped me to sleep lying down again. I was going numb every time I slept on my sides, but once again last night I started getting that numb feeling in my arms and throbbing in my legs. I feel sciatica returning much sooner than it came before. So for right now, I'm going to enjoy being pregnant while I can. I'm feeling ever so light movements. The baby every once in awhile, gives me a little hello. Nothing big, nothing flashy, just a little, "by the way I'm still here tickle", I can't wait for the coming weeks when you feel more movement. Its such a special feeling. I've felt a little disconnected with this baby, but I think its just because I've been so cautious. I didn't expect to get pregnant so fast.

So people have asked me if I want a boy or a girl, and honestly I'm not sure. (Wow, just as I typed that I got a little nudge from in-utero... woah, 2 nudges!) What does that mean? LOL!  Ok where was I? I have been thinking hard about the boy girl thing. For me, for myself, I'd love a little girl to dress up in cute clothes, put bows in their hair, make cute cloth diapers for etc. But that is just what I want for myself. Truth be told, I am terrified of being the mom of a teenage girl. And that would be inevitable if we had a girl. Oh the mood swings, the boys I'd have to threaten, the hormones, the eye rolling, the clothes and dolls, it just freaks me out a little and not to mention I don't think I'd be great at sitting and playing tea party. I don't remember being that way as a little girl, as a little girl I was playing with legos and playing in the mud outside, riding my bike etc. If I have a girly girl, I just don't know how I'd handle that, but as the years went on I girlified more and more. So maybe I can channel that inner tea party and barbie doll mom in me. Although I am second guessing the whole barbie doll thing, I'm thinking I might not allow them in my house...

Then there is the side of me that wants another boy. Why, well even though I cried when I found out my son was a boy thinking what the heck just happened, it was supposed to be a girl! and that "I know nothing about boys", I think boys tend to be easier to please. Give them a cardboard box to play with and you've made their entire day. LOL! I also think that J would love to have a little brother to play with one day and I can see him arm and arm with a little buddy running around in shorts during the summer drinking out of the water hose. My little boy melts my heart every day with his "I love you's" and hugs and kisses, having another boy would be like having two peas in a pod. But then here I am outnumbered in testosterone. Do I want to be the girl that is run out of the room when the boys get into a farting contest? Um no. Not so much.

So I do kinda want another female around. I do kinda want a little girl to one day plan a wedding with or possibly be there for the birth of her child/ren. Something that I never had. It would be special...

I think its good that I don't really care either way. I know moms who really wanted one of each and are disappointed when they don't get that, but I think whatever God blesses us with is simply what is intended. So I sit here and just pray for a healthy baby, with 10 fingers and 10 toes and no health problems. In all honesty the likely hood is that if we have a little girl, we will have to deal with the same orthopedic problems I had as child since its more prominent in girls than boys, and I don't want to be spending thousands of dollars a year on surgeries like I had to endure as a child. So I'm hoping inside its a little boy just so I don't have to worry as much. I think that's all I can really ask for. I have been blessed in so many other ways and I'm happy we are expanding our little family. Happy and Healthy is all you can really ask for right?

Heather



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