Lately I have been feeling very thankful for what I have. My two little boys and my husband are everything to me. I have been so blessed with being able to stay home with my children. My husband has worked so hard to help make this happen for us, and right now I just can't imagine the cost of having two kids in Day Care, so its probably cheaper anyway that I stay home that way my whole paycheck wouldn't be going toward someone else raising my children. I want to make it known how thankful I am for that. One day though I will tackle a career again head on. I have a degree and I'm gonna use it to all my ability ;)
I'm also thankful for my extended family and friends from Phoenix to In-Laws who always extend their ear, or their services to help me out if they can. From my brother in Law who cuts my hair to my sisters and Mother in Law who watch my kids if I'm in a bind, to friends who come up from the valley just to hang out or request to hang out when we go down to the valley. No matter how infrequent we see each other, I feel like its time well spent and I feel like its a blessing to have you all in my life. Please know each and every one of you are blessings to me!
Now I'm gonna go off on a little tangent. Those who have lent your ear my way, and were slow to speak and slow to give advice, but were quick to just listen and be in my company, you know who you are. Sometimes you want someone to just listen and you aren't looking for someone to come up with an answer for you or tell you how to live your life. Sometimes you are simply looking for someone to share something with, THANK YOU, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE ;). Those who may share a similar past or similar experiences with me, but have never expected me to react or feel the exact same way that you do, knowing that I am my own person and I'm going to live it either extremely different than you or a little different than you, Thank you for letting ME be ME.
Those who take the time to understand what kind of person/parent I am and how I parent my children and get to know my likes and dislikes, Thank you. It helps me to know that you have listened to me over the years. Some of you have given great advice and sometimes just seeing what you do with your own children, helps me to be a better mother to mine. :) Whether we talk a little or a lot, thank you to each and every person in my life, and most of all thank you to those who have just stopped and listened without opening your mouth. Thank you to those who can just be with me and have fun with me. We all come from a place that is hard for others to see clearly, and its so easy to sit across from someone else and tell them what to do with their life when you aren't living their life. In the future I'm gonna be slower to give advice, and simply take time to get coffee and laugh with my friends and family. I really truly believe sometimes that when someone calls you up, sometimes they aren't seeking anything except for a sympathetic ear, a hug, a chance to get something off their chest, and to simply laugh a little while. Sometimes the last thing they need is for you to sit there and tell them, "Oh you think you had it hard, you don't know how hard I had it, when I was in the same situation". Sometimes saying that, just makes the other person turn off mentally wishing they would have called someone else.
Thank you to everyone out there who lets ME be ME and respects my decisions and the choices I make. Sometimes though, things happen with friends and family. Feelings are hurt, sometimes just the mere honesty of telling someone you didn't like a particular thing can be so overwhelming you wonder if you have the ability to ever be honest with that person again. Sometimes you don't know how to be honest with someone without hurting their feelings, especially when it involves protecting other people. Sometimes you've kept your mouth shut for so long, when something happens that you disapprove of, you don't know how to finally tell the person to stop doing said actions, and what you say comes out wrong, or in an insensitive way.
Sometimes though, the person doesn't ever want you to tell them that they do things that bother you and really would rather you just be a different person around them or pretend everything is ok, for their sake, because they are unwilling to make a few simple changes. Then if you tell them a tiny little thing that they did, had a certain outcome that was undesirable by all parties involved, they take it wrong and hold it against you for even bringing it up. When you can't be honest with someone about things that make you uncomfortable it strains the relationship.
Its ok to not like something a friend or family member has or hasn't done and sometimes there is no tactful way of telling them not to do something without hurting their feelings. It can be especially hard if both of you love the same people and you know their actions were not intentional, but you know if you don't tell them what is wrong, it could happen again. Relationships are hard. Weather its with siblings, In-laws or friends, any ONE thing can strain a relationship if you don't' get it out in the open. But if the relationship is truly meant to grow and be fulfilling, then everyone has to listen with an open heart and want to make a change to fix the relationship, or you are always going to go home wondering, why the heck I can't get any closer to that person. You will always feel like they hold you at arms length and never let you into their world. Sometimes you simply have to accept that too many things have happened in the past to fix it more than a mere casual conversation and a few passing smiles.
These are just some thoughts that have plagued my mind lately, and I am thankful for everyone God has blessed me with, and I mean EVERYONE currently in my life, from family to friends, you all make me laugh, give me things to ponder and things to be thankful about.
Now that I got that off my chest, its time for a late lunch. ;)
Wife, Mother of Two Boys, Coffee Addict, Pinterest obsessed, an aspiring writer balancing every day life of raising a family and blogging about it.