On Judging Others:
We all do it. I do it. I'd love to say that "I did it", in the past tense. But I can't honestly tell you that I would never judge another person again, but these days I'd definitely think twice. The thing is, passing judgement on people is so nasty. It makes yourself look ugly. When you sit there and ridicule someone for not being like you or being different from you, or being what society says isn't normal, all you do is make yourself look ugly. This comes in light from the bullying those middle schoolers did on that bus monitor and a recent blog post I read that highlighted judgement so well. It made me look at myself in a way I hadn't before and how ugly I am when I do pass judgement on people. It really is the worst disease a person can have.
The problem is people seldom think about what its like to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. I've spent the last three weeks being extremely hurt by family members. But I realized I was passing judgement and was not putting myself in their shoes. I don't know what its like to be a 70 year old widow just like I don't know what its like to only have 1 leg and not be able to walk. I don't know what the world looks like from your eyes. I don't know the pain you've experienced in the past. So the next time you are standing in line behind someone wondering why the heck they are taking so long, think for just a moment, what life might be like for them. Someone is always suffering from some hidden battle no one else can see. If you always treat people with compassion, even people YOU think might not deserve it, then you will get compassion back. Never assume you think you know all of a person's struggles. There are things you can't see. Things a person may never share with you but are there under the surface. That is why its important to always treat people how you would like to be treated. One day you will need to rely on someone and that one person you put down may hesitate to help you due to how you treated them. Always always treat people with compassion.
On Moms Judging Other Moms:
Lately it seems like moms on the internet are so wrapped up in lifestyles to really enjoy the life they are living. "Oh you feed your child food from a can or a jar, you are slowly killing your child!" You don't know how many blogs I come across where I read things like this all the time and I'm thinking crap why the heck am I not dead yet? When I was a child most of my food came from a can or a box and I drank from the water hose and I'm still alive. So if I make my child boxed mac n cheese oh my god, please don't hit me with broom sticks. I feed my kids veggies. My child loves salad, lettuce, spinach and avocados, so he gets his veggies, but he's a happy toddler and yes, I once made a chocolate covered banana with sprinkles and gave him one................boy did I get ridiculed for that one! I still don't know what possible side affects from a chocolate covered banana my child might suffer from years down the line...but I'm quite upset that there was no warning label on the chocolate sauce saying this product may cause cancer. *Sense my sarcasm ;) *
The point is, stop getting so wrapped up in do's and don't of parenthood and stop judging other moms just because they do things a little differently from you and just live and love one another. BE KIND. Stop being Sancti-moms. Obviously buckle your kids up, make them wear helmets but have a little too much fun. Laugh too much. Run around and play hide and seek with your kids, skip nap time every once in a while. Have a pajama day as my sister in law loves to say. Seriously...you'll be surprised how much better you feel when you stop reading the warning labels on everything and stop researching all the possible ways you might die. I have spent hours on the internet researching crap that has like a 1% chance of happening....I've wasted my time, so this is a place I come from personally and my husband will attest to it. He'll be the first to tell you I can be a worry wart. But even though I'm not seeing clearly (physically) I'm seeing clearer in other ways. I'm seeing all the things that made me ugly in the past and learning from them. I'm seeing the things that people do to others that make them ugly and learning from it.
So here's my piece of advice for the day, treat others with compassion, and stop living in fear.
Wife, Mother of Two Boys, Coffee Addict, Pinterest obsessed, an aspiring writer balancing every day life of raising a family and blogging about it.