My husband can be the hardest person to read sometimes, but he is truly a blessing to my life. He can be difficult and he can keep to himself, but he never fails at trying to show me that he loves me. People show their love in different ways and the way I show love to my husband is different than the way he shows love to me. Now over the years its been hard for me to understand him in regards to showing love and affection. But I've realized that the affection aspect of showing someone that you love them, can be really hard for some people.
There are apparently 5 languages of love and my husband is the "gift giver", while I am the physical touch person and "quality time" person. I actually think we are both words of affirmation people too, but sometimes we tend to talk, then misunderstand each other in the process. Both our feelings can get hurt easily. We are both emotional people.
Now I grew up feeling extreme humility and guilt any time someone gave me something. So much so, that I disliked receiving gifts from people for fear I could never return the favor or the sentiments, or that the sentiments wouldn't be received the way I wanted them to.
Anyway, where is my story leading? Its leading to the fact that any time I mention something that I'd like to get one day, or even if I want to save money for it, my husband goes ahead and gets it for me.
For example, I wanted to get this beautiful painting for the dinning room, and I eventually wanted to get a swing set for the kids, one that the kids could have friends over and there would be enough things to do on it that everyone could play. Without hesitation, Hunky Hubs just gets them. I had plans on saving up my own money to buy these items. I told him that too, but then out of no way he says he got them for us.
He's always been this way....from my ipad to just anything I wanted or needed, and trust me its great. I love it. But I do tend to feel a bit of guilt after receiving the lavish gift I should have earned some how. I suppose you could say all the work I do of raising kids and cooking meals and cleaning house is enough to earn it...but I sometimes just don't feel like that is enough. He comes home from work, I hear about the stresses of his job and while I can have some pretty stressful days as well, I can easily let the stress of the day melt off at the end of the night and start over fresh the next day. My husband's stress tends to build and leads to insomnia and many sleepless nights.
Anyway, I was telling Hunky Hubs how I wanted to get a bike so I could go for bike rides around the neighborhood. Now we just sold two bikes at our garage sale we had last weekend for ten bucks each. They both needed work, one needed a new chain and was rusty, but I just kinda wanted a new bike. So after telling him that I had one bookmarked online, he told me he bought it and just had to go get it. Now I have my early birthday present, but I totally wasn't expecting it for my birthday. After all we just bought a swing set.
But like a child on Christmas day, I rode it to the end of the street and back and felt like a kid again when I used to ride my bike all over the neighborhood. I eventually want to get a bike trailer or a kiddie seat so I can take one or both kids on bike rides with me. But for now I think I will get acquainted with going on a few bike rides by myself and getting some of that "me" time back that I talked about in my blog a few weeks ago. Bike riding is the perfect time to be alone with your thoughts and get some good exercise and I thank my husband soo much for that opportunity again!
Now I really have to learn what love language my husband speaks. ;) He can be a hard one to figure out. What love language does your significant other speak?
Author: HeatherWife, Mother of Two Boys, Coffee Addict, Pinterest obsessed, an aspiring writer balancing every day life of raising a family and blogging about it.
8 comments:
Yeah, I never heard of the Love Languages before, I will have to learn more about that!
I tell my husband that too, but he just says that he knows no other way to show me. I try coaching him though....sometimes he gets it. Sometimes he doesn't. ;)
My husband is also more about giving gifts and I keep telling him he doesn't need to give me things to show his love!
My husband and I are totally different as as far as love languages go, and it has caused some issues at times. He is a gift giver and acts of service guy. I am a quality time and words of affirmation type. We both have to remember that our most comfortable ways of expressing love aren't always the ways that are most easily received by the other. Learning about love languages helped us a lot!
We are both physical touch and quality time people. Having to littles really makes it difficult to fullfill that in bioth of us. It's something we are working toward with renewed energy.
I love that you are riding a bike! I was just telling my husband that I wanted to ride a bike again! There is something so freeing about sailing around on a bike. So much fun <3
There's something so wonderful about riding a bike, isn't there? :)
Oh we are both gift givers, sometimes to the point of silliness. For me, when I see something I know he wants or would love to have I just can't help myself. If I can afford it I buy it. I don't think I do it as a substitution for other forms of showing my love, I just do it because I love that look on his face when I give him something awesome. The same holds true for my daughter. The excitement on her face when I tell her "Mommy got you something" is just so great. With her it doesn't matter what it is, and usually it's just dollar store finds or some new clothes that she actually needs, she just loves the idea of getting something, anything.
I am a mix of physical touch and quality time person while my fiance is the "acts of service" to a T. He "shows" me he loves me by doing things around the house, cooking meals (he knows I hate to cook). He thinks ahead by bringing home candy or coke (the Soda!) when he knows im running low. I on the other hand want to hold hands while we watch tv. He thinks im just being mushy and i try explaining that thats what i need. We do spend a lot of time together but its not always quality. Usually he is on the ipad while im watching tv or vice versa.
When he is having a bad day I instinctively caress his arm and he thinks im being a weirdo. I used to always complain that he didn't say I love you. But then he was like if I didn't love you would we be living together, would I do laundry, would I cook you dinner, would I work on your car etc?
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